Adventures in Dick-Sucking,
or Why I Love to Suck Butch Cock:
An Oral History
Okay I admit it. I love giving blow jobs. I learned how to give good head from a very hot, very butch, dick-wielding lesbian. I was twenty at the time, living a happily lesbian-feminist-separatist existence, snug in my non-role-playing, p.c. academic world. I think I hated men as much as I loved women. I was repulsed at the thought, mention or sight of a penis. Then, one day, making gentle, tender, PG-13 love with my sweetie, she stopped me and said, "I'm sorry, I just can't do this." I sat up, shocked. "What? What did I do wrong?" She shook her head. "No, it's not that. It's not you. I just can't do this soft and sweet 'I'll go down on you, you go down on me' thing. I don't want you to lick my pussy." My face fell. I was bewildered. Until she finished her sentence: "I want you to suck my dick."
Okay, so I was only twenty, and out a mere three years. I'd only had sex with one woman before her, my college roommate and our sex was very egalitarian and vanilla. We were so innocent, we naively used dental dams every time even though neither of us had ever had any kind of sex with anyone else ever. We'd heard about lesbians getting AIDS, so we were careful and dutifully devoted to our latex. If we didn't have it, couldn't get it, we didn't have sex. Period. We laugh about this now, only wishing our dedication to safer sex had followed us into our older, more promiscuous years. So my knowledge of lesbian sex was pretty slim. I'd never seen a porno. I'd never heard of a dildo. I thought B&D meant Black and Decker. And I was puzzled as to how this new, older, wiser and more experienced lover wanted me to suck her "dick" when it was clear she didn't have one. I was, nevertheless, intrigued.
"Um, you want me to what? But..." She shushed me. "Honey, do you know what I'm thinking when you put your sweet lips on me?" I didn't. "I'm thinking of how I want them wrapped around my dick. I'm picturing my clit, hard and extended into a lesbian cock, hot and engorged for you, and I'm picturing you wanting me and taking me into your sweet little mouth." My eyes about popped out of my head. But I was eager to please. So she reached under the bed, pulled out a small red velvet bag and ordered me to close my eyes, and when I reopened, there she was with a proud set of balls and an eight-inch dick strapped to her pelvis.
We began my lessons that evening. I found that, from my first taste, I loved that dick. I was a natural, pulling her into my throat, sucking her skin against the roof of my mouth, running my tongue along the length of her. I have a big mouth for a little girl, and I nearly wet myself the first time I was able to take all of her, swallow her whole, and hold on to her ass while she buried that dick in my face. I liked feeling the length of her stiffness disappear into my mouth, and letting my tongue play at the ridges, while my nails raked the underside of her balls, then, lightly, flicking my tongue catlike at the head, barely tasting her, tickling the tip until she could no longer stand my teasing and grabbed the back of my head, forcing herself down my throat, jamming her cock, hot and swollen, into my face, fucking me full-force until I was so full of her I thought I would cry.
I became an avid dick-sucker that summer. I loved my newfound way of pleasing my lover, on her terms. My physical acceptance of her cock was my way of embracing her butchness, of surrendering to her will. I never licked her clit again after that. It was me and the dick - anytime, anywhere she wished. We'd go out to dinner and she'd be packing the smaller one, and I'd make a game of rubbing the ball of my foot against her under the table. I would cup her hardness in the cab on the way home and she'd struggle to keep a straight face as I went down, right there in the back seat, the knees of my stockings getting dirty as I knelt before her, smearing my lipstick on her pants, then deepthroating her butchness, taking as much of her into my body as I possibly could, wanting her dick, her desire, to completely engulf me. When we got home, she'd relax before the television, legs spread in the silk boxers I'd bought her, her dick poking through the fold in the fabric and I would have to stop whatever I was doing and go to her and try to get her attention, by kneeling at her feet, massaging them, then working my way up to her hard-muscled thighs and finally playing with her cock as it stood there, at attention. I would roll her hardness between my hands before taking her into my mouth and she would play games with me, looking over the top of my head at the television, but getting gradually more distracted by my grunts of pleasure as I noisily sucked at her, allowing her rubber to slap against my lips and the roof of my mouth. Once I got really into it, my whole head bobbing up and down on her rigidness, frantically fucking her with my face, she would have to take note; and though the TV would still be on, the program was abandoned, as we fell to the floor, she thrusting her hips towards my face to give me more, more, as I let her feel my teeth and sucked her as hard as she had fucked me the night before. She grabbed a fistful of long, disheveled hair and held my head still as she had her way with me; I kept my lips in a perfect tight O as she rocked back and forth and then slammed her body into me full-force, coming hard into my mouth. I sat still, holding her in my mouth, cradling her dick between my lips until she quieted down and gently pulled me up onto her chest, which heaved under her ribbed tank top. Her dick was strong and beautiful and possessed us both with a force that can barely be put into words. I just know that I never feel so powerful, so sexy, or so very femme as when I am before a lover on my knees, taking her into my mouth and giving her all I have to offer.
Don't get me wrong: I love getting fucked - fingers, dildos, fists - but nothing beats the exchange of power when I am sucking my butch off. I give a good blow job, and I love it, and I love the way it makes my butch feel. I can tell, because in addition to "sweetheart" and "honey" she calls me "the best little cocksucker in the world" - a title I am proud of as it is my way of giving back the love my butches have so freely lavished on me.
(as published in Best of the Best Lesbian Erotica, Cleis Press, 2001 and Best Lesbian Erotica 1997, Cleis Press, 1997)
Originally Published November 2006: Simply Sexy