Dear Mom,
I think it is time we had the
talk.
Maybe, you haven’t given
it to me yet because
no one
prepared you to tell it.
Maybe they ran out of time or
money to teach you.
Don’t worry:
I have heard all the words
before.
I read the bathroom stalls.
I know that
the birds and the bees really means
when a man’s dick grows a
stinger on the end and he shoots honey inside you.
I understand.
Don’t worry.
And condoms—I know all
about them!
Audra Ferricci showed me how
to put one on a banana once.
I have to admit that it changed
the whole flavor of it, but
I get it.
I watched some movies
and saw pictures of
my clitoris.
Well, of
a clitoris.
I haven’t exactly found
mine yet but
I’m hopeful!
And Audra showed me this great
website that teaches you how to find yours.
This woman with a giant stuffed
vagina kept talking about lubricant and oil.
And the hood.
Sounds a bit like car talk,
but—
I get it.
I’m not sure about masturbation
and if all of that’s okay.
You know what the church
says……
But Arthur, who sits behind
me in homeroom said
that as long as there are others
around to watch
and make sure nothing goes
wrong
you can do it whenever.
Good thing I asked him.
I do wish I understood
my body a bit more.
Each day, I count the hairs
growing.
Under my arms---just like dad.
On my legs—just like dad.
I counted seven on my
vagina.
Audra said to shave it all
away because
beautiful women are
smooth everywhere.
Sometimes I wish I understood
why?
But you don’t have to worry
about me having body issues, mom.
I eat once a day to keep myself
looking just like everyone else
on the
magazine covers.
Oh, and I googled menstruation!!
They ran out of time to talk
about it in school because
well
all those standardized tests
to prepare for
No child
left behind………
I understand all about the
blood.
And I promise to use pads because
tampons will take away my virginity.
What’s that?
Oh, I
think abstinence is cool!
In fact, I prefer blowjobs
anyway.
And you’d be so
proud of how many fingers I can take in.
So,
Maybe we don’t need to have
that talk after all.
I guess the schools don’t
really need to talk about sex education and body awareness.
Thank god for cable, internet,
and bathroom stalls.
I love you.
Love,
Aimee.
Originally published February 2009