There's a piece of female sexuality that remains elusive and myth-like to many women. To some, it sounds strange and unnatural, to others, it's the figurative unicorn between the sheets - beautiful and unattainable. Some have never even heard of it, and it's a rare few who have actually experienced it... What we're talking about here is female ejaculation.
The cover of Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot reads: "Not your mother's orgasm book!" How true! When I picked it up off of the shelf I felt a little uncertain, wondering if it would be any good and wondering if it would be interesting. After reading the text, I feel like I have an entirely new understanding of my own anatomy, and a better sense of my own sexuality.
Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot, by Deborah Sundahl, is so good because it's practical. It begins by explaining why the female body has been so misunderstood, exploring medical and religious history and their influences on the perceptions of a woman's anatomy. But the book balances the historical and instructive with the personal and emotional. It also offers a plethora of people's experiences and stories about female ejaculation. The reader can learn about what ejaculating is like personally for a woman, and also what it's like to be on the receiving end as a partner.
But the best part of the book is the explanation of a woman's anatomy, and the lessons on how to explore that anatomy for yourself. Did you know that a woman has a prostate, and that the G-Spot is the nerve-packed outer side of the prostate found on the inner wall of the vagina? I did not. In fact, I always believed in the G-Spot, but never knew where mine was. Sundahl gives simple instructions on how to find the G-Spot without getting aroused (p. 35). Guess what ladies! It's there, and you can feel it for yourself! That little discovery in intself was a life-changing thing for me, and made the book immediately invaluable.
The book offers thorough lessons in female anatomy, including discussions on different types of orgasms and how they are connected to two separate major nerves in the body. And then the book goes on in Part II to give simple tests and exercises to help a woman learn how to build ejaculate, and then expel it. According to Sundahl, every woman has the anatomy to ejaculate.
"After the ejaculate is expelled from the female prostate into the urethral canal, it can flow in two directions: out to the urethral opening, or in to the bladder (retrograde ejaculation)." (p. 30) Sundahl goes on to explain that most women experience retrograde ejaculation, and then passes it out after sex when she empties the bladder. All a woman needs to do is learn how to expel it outwards, instead of inwards. Biologically, a woman's urethra is like a man's in that urine and ejaculate cannot pass through at the same time. Thus, even though a woman who ejaculates outwardly may feel like she is peeing, the substance smells, looks, and is entirely different.
A book on sex for woman wouldn't be complete without taking into account the emotional side, and Sundahl does a superb and professional job at doing just that. She stresses that female ejaculation only occurs when a woman feels very open and comfortable with her own sexuality and with her lover. She encourages women to try ejaculating by themselves initially, so that they can become truly comfortable about it, before introducing it to a partner. The book also encourages things like journaling and self-expression, and stresses that these types of things are linked to healthy sexuality.
Whether or not you ever want to attain female ejaculation, this book is a must-read for every woman. It is empowering in that it lends an honest and thorough look at the female anatomy and female sexuality. After reading it, I feel that I understand my own body so much more, and that type of knowledge is truly priceless.
Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot, by Deborah Sundahl. Hunter House, Inc.: 2003. Available at Amazon.com starting at $9.75!
Originally published October 2005 - "Naughty Tricks and Sensual Treats"