Oysters & Chocolate


Ask Jordan

Funky Butt Lovin' and Shower Masturbatin'

By: Jordan LaRousse

Tags: Anal Sex Ask Jordan Girls doing Guys Masturbation Masturbation in the Shower Sex Advice Strap On

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Dear Jordan,

My boyfriend often masturbates in the shower... it doesn't seem to affect our sex life but it still makes me wonder... is he a pervert? Should I be concerned?
-High and Dry

Dear High and Dry,

No he's not a pervert. Men masturbate. They start masturbating as soon as they discover their dicks and they don't stop until the day they die (or until their sex drive dies). Your man has a healthy male libido and that is all. As long as your sex life is alive and kicking you really don't have anything to worry about. In fact, maybe you should thank your healthy honey for doing it in the shower because that means fewer socks and sheets to wash.
-Jordan

 

Dear Jordan,


I've always wanted to screw my boyfriend in the butt with my dildo. He seems to like it when I lick him there. Do you have any advice about how I should approach him on the subject? Should we talk about it or should I just lube him up and do it?
-Funky Butt Lovin'

Dear FBL,

Men either like the idea of having their butt toyed with or they don't. A lot of men I've encountered are very averse to the idea because for some naïve reason they associate anal play with homosexuality. However, the fact that he likes having his butt licked leads me to believe that he would be open to exploring more anal play. But please ask him first! Whatever you do don't just "lube him up and do it."

You may want to ease him into the idea by adding a little bit of finger play with your butt licking. This isn't nearly as intimidating as getting rammed with a 6 inch dildo. Gently inserting your finger into his anus will expose him to this pleasurable new sensation which may lead him to be more excited about the possibility of playing out your ultimate fantasy.

If he enjoys the fingering, then you can push his boundaries a little further. The best time and place to ask him is in the heat of the moment, when he's turned on and his dick his hard. Men (and women) both tend to be more open minded about sex when they are excited. But don't bring out the dildo just yet. Start by whispering in his ear in your naughtiest bedroom voice "honey I fantasize about doing you in the butt with my dildo, can I?" If he snaps away with a look of disgust on his face, drop the subject, smile and give him a little oral sex to ease his distress. However if it happens to be on his list of things he'd like to try in bed, he'll jump at the chance and then you'll know it's time to lube him up and do it. Good luck!
-Jordan

Originally Published August 2006: Sweat

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  • Jay
    3/11/2008 12:08:26 PM

    I have to admit that, while I have never had a dildo in my ass, one of the most erotic experiences is to be rimmed. That membrane of skin from the back of my scrotum to my anus is exceptionally sensitive. Lying on my back and looking down to a lovely lady who works my cock deeply into her mouth, forcing her cheeks over the girth of my cock and her lips down the length of my shaft is an exquisite experience, heightened even more so by the slip of a finger into my asshole. Even now I envision wrapping my hands around her hair as she presses her finger in my asshole and slowly withdraws it. Usually I get an eager look in my eyes, one of anticipication as her mouth and tongue descend to my anus.

  • Z
    4/30/2008 10:49:17 PM

    Haha! Your columns are so funny Jordan! And informative too no doubt. Jay you are definitely crazy man. No chick is gonna stick her finger in my bum hole. I tried it once and it was waaaay uncomfortable. Call me old fashioned I guess.

  • candace
    11/14/2008 6:01:12 PM

    you are gross

  • bryan
    1/1/2009 10:27:09 AM

    why is that gross? can't knock it if you haven't tried it...

  • Richard
    1/2/2010 7:43:21 AM

    FBL, You'll never know if you don't ask. You haven't followed up here in the comments section, so you leave us wondering what ever happened to your desire. For myself, my girlfriend and I enjoy much anal play, which sometimes includes here strapping on a (not too big, I admit) dildo, ordering me to bend over the bed, and fucking me with it. I love it -- not as much has having her rim me, which she adores as well, but pretty damn close. I'd say Jordan's advice is on the mark. Richard

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