I was desperately horny during my entire flight from Toronto to Atlanta. Sneaking glances at the man seated next to me from the corner of my eye, I could only make out a few details, and they excited me. He smelled masculine, his hands were strong and decisive looking, he wore a gold watch and a sharp suit and he was reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
I, on the other hand, was reading Bedroom Games by Mary Taylor, which may have explained my frisky mood. To make matters more desperate, I was now turning the page to Chapter Eleven, "Up Close and Personal," and with my elbow pressed up against the jacket sleeve of the gentleman beside me, it was easy to let my imagination go.
"Removing a man's tie," Mary writes "is a simple task if your only intent is to get it off his neck and out of the way. But if your intention is seduction, there are a few things you need to know."
I glanced over at my seat mate and looked at his navy silk tie steadily rise and fall against his crisp, crème-colored shirt and then I read, "Start by sitting sideways on your partner's lap with both your legs to the left and lean slightly backward and to the right." I glanced down at his muscular thighs filling out the suit pants, my heart skipping a beat as I imagined sitting on his lap.
"Gaze into his eyes as you reach out with your right hand and pick up his tie at its tip. Slide it over your left shoulder as you ease gently off his lap to a kneeling position facing him between his legs." I glanced at his face catching his eyes reading over my shoulder, he saw that I had caught him. The heat between us rose palpably. Demurely I turned my eyes back to the book. "Leave the tie knotted for now. Place the tip between your front teeth and, as you pull it taut, begin stroking it...He should be getting the message loud and clear by now." (p. 160-1)
I got the message too; this book was soon to become a favorite on my nightstand. Bedroom Games teaches the art of stripteases and seductions. Written by Mary Taylor a veteran stripper of 21 years, the book is full of advice on how to become a top notch seductress. It is very personably written, an easy read and lots of fun.
Mary starts off her book with a fiery description of a seduction fantasy, "It's time. At seven o'clock he walks in the door and into your homemade den of seduction. You meet him at the door dressed as his personal maid -- a greeting any man would find hard to resist. Your little white frilly apron points to your garter belt as it peeks out of the bottom of your dress. His eyes trace the seams in your stockings all the way down to the four inch heels of your patent leather pumps..."(p. 3)
But before we can lose ourselves in the art of seduction, Mary suggests we start by addressing the fears and body image problems that most women suffer from; those little nagging self-doubts that prevent us from letting down our inhibitions and exploring new territory. This is important stuff! Even reading it I began to let go of my hang-ups about my breasts not being as firm and full as the next girl's, or that my butt and thighs are often described as "thick" (actually a compliment coming from some men - but not an adjective that most women want to hear about their body parts). Perhaps the best piece of advice she offers on this subject is this: "Either get off it...or get on it. If you're not going to make the effort or put in the time it takes to change, stop complaining and accept your faults." (p. 46)
Finally armed with confidence and self-acceptance, we get to delve into the juicy stuff. Peppered with anecdotes about her experiences as a professional stripper, Mary gives us some invaluable insider's tips on the art of seduction. We learn how to choose a role, and to set up a performance complete with costume and music ideas, select the ideal location and find the perfect outfit. My favorite chapters teach the actual seduction moves (which is about the time I started getting up close and personal with the sexy business traveler at my elbow - in my mind at least).
No, I didn't get to perform for the man in the suit, nor did I perform for the sexy French-Canadian flight attendant (mon amour Jean Claude), and no, I didn't even get to dance for the bald guy sitting in front of me (and yes, the book drove me to such lusty heights that I did actually fantasize about performing a striptease for him and rubbing my hands all over his shiny noggin). Although I didn't take it off for them in reality, there is not one man on the plane who escaped my fantasy performance that flight.
The real proof however came when I returned home to my boyfriend. A couple of weeks later, after having done all my homework (and working myself into many sexy fits during the process), I pulled it off, and took it all off too - from my officer's uniform to my g-string -leaving only my stilettos on through the end. The results were more than satisfactory, and he's been more attentive ever since that sexy night.
Next move? I think I'll dress up as a prudish secretary and perform a birthday Strip-O-Gram for him at his office next month, a private performance of course.
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Originally Published July 2006: Stripped! Anniversary Issue