Free Sex Advice
"Desiring a Femdom Relationship" - sex advice from Jordan LaRousse
Dear Jordan,
I am approaching my mid-40s, have not had a serious relationship for a while, and have not dated for a while either. But just lately I have begun to desire a full-on female lead femdom relationship. I have begun to dream about serving the woman both outside and inside the bedroom. This desire is becoming really strong and I am now wishing to truly pamper and spoil a woman. Like giving a woman foot rubs, painting her nails, giving her all over massages, pouring and making her drinks in the evening, I am even wishing to cook lovely romantic evening meals, doing most of all the housework. I am basically now wishing to be a woman’s slave. I know this sounds weird, but this is the way I genuinely feel. I want to find a dominant woman to worship, adore, serve, and totally surrender and submit to. I am looking for a woman to completely control me, not just outside the bedroom, but inside it too.
I have something called “Asperger’s Syndrome” This means I cannot pick up on things like body language or facial expressions, and can get really lost in social situations. So how can I get to a place that I am both attracting the desired type of women and to know what signals to pick up on, too?
These submissive desires are beginning to get bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger; they are beginning to drive me wild. I am beginning to become really passionate with these desires, thinking of how I can start dating a strict woman of my dream of whom I can please.
Please help me with some really good practical advice that could change my life forever and for the better. Oh, how I dream of the day I can marry a lovely woman that can control me and of whom I can adore and admire totally. I basically want to be a thoughtful, kind, and attentive lover.
I really hope you can help me and I will thank you in advance for any help you may give.
Best wishes.
Stephen.
Ruf der Wildnes by Ben MarcatoDear Stephen,
Congratulations on being honest with yourself about what you want in a relationship! I want to reassure you that you’re not alone in your desire to find a dominant woman, which means that the possibility for you to realize your wishes is definitely out there.
It’s interesting that you are just now, in your mid-40s, coming to the realization that you want to be in a femdom relationship. Because this is so new to you, and because you have Asperger’s, I suggest that you play the submissive role in a fantasy scenario fist, and hire a professional dominant woman to play with. Here in Denver we have a few businesses like this, including Pavlovia Denver; you could probably find something similar in the city nearest where you live.
Hiring a professional dominant will benefit you in a few ways.
- First, it will give you some real life experience in this role so you can decide if this is just a passing desire, or if this is truly a lifestyle choice you’d like to make.
- Second, it will help you understand some of the social dynamics at play in this type of relationship. With practice you’ll better understand what it means to be a submissive and you’ll learn the rules of power play.
- Third, if you decide this role is for you, it will help you to build your confidence in your ability to be a true submissive when you take it into the “real world."
- Fourth, it’s safe and you won’t be taken advantage of.
- Also note that these professional dominants do not provide sex. They provide domination services and will help you enjoy playing the submissive to whatever level you are comfortable with.
If hiring a professional is not something that interests you, or if you have done this and feel that you are now ready to experience a real life femdom relationship, I suggest you visit a dating site like www.Alt.com. Chances are you’re not going to find a dominant woman easily by perusing nightclubs or the grocery store. Using a dating site allows you to honestly lay out exactly what you are seeking in your dating profile, so there are no questions or mixed messages. Plus, you will have the opportunity to look for a good match for you.
Of course, dating, no matter if it’s in the context of a vanilla or BDSM relationship, takes time and energy, and there will always be compromises, so be sure to go in with reasonable expectations and have fun with it!
Good luck!
Jordan
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Originally published June 2011