Editor's Letter

Editor's Letter - April 2011

Tags: 2011 ,  Editor's Letter ,  Sex and Society

Dear Readers and Contributors,

I (Jordan) attended a dinner party a few weeks ago where I knew only a couple of the dozen strangers seated at the long table. Over wine and delicious platters of cous cous, hummus, homemade pita and cucumber salad, talk inevitably turned to careers. “So what do you do, Jordan?” a woman in a conservative gray sweater asked me, quite innocently. Even before stepping through the stranger’s door, I had decided to use my “cover story,” the one I use when I am unsure as to whether my true career will make for awkward silences and looks of disapproval. I opened my mouth to tell the other guests about my work as a business correspondent for a local paper (something I did in a former life before erotica took its hold on my heart). But suddenly, a warm rush of red wine emanated from my toes, up, up to my chest and out my mouth. In a slightly quivery voice, and with a face the bright red color of an Irish sunset, I announced, “I’m an erotica editor and sex advice author.” A hush dropped over the table, and my face grew ever brighter as I silently reprimanded myself for my audacity, and pictured the conservative guests surrounding me on either side gathering my coat and purse and unceremoniously booting me onto the front porch, or even worse, trying to save my soul. Then, to my surprise, the hostess who wore a bright yellow sweater, a heavy wooden bracelet, and a mischievous smile announced from the other end of the table, “Well that is fantastic! Who knew we had such an interesting guest at our party?” With her stamp of approval prominently displayed on my forehead, the other guests at long last exhaled and a rush of questions and conversation ensued. Suddenly, I was the bright center of attention, when before I had been politely and quietly absorbing the scene around me. The table had turned from polite and formal to animated and a bit raucous, more wine was poured and smiles glowed bigger. By the end of the evening I had given out my business card and book titles to nearly everyone there. It was a good reminder that I should be proud of what I do, no matter where I am or who I am with.

This is our battle call to all of you talented sex purveyors! Be strong, be brave and be truthful about your craft, you might find the world is more ready for your talent than they care to admit.

With love,

Jordan and Samantha

Comments

• Jeremy Edwards
  4/1/2011 2:22:43 PM

  I'm pleased to relate that I have had some similar experiences. : )
• Kay Jaybee
  4/1/2011 3:41:10 PM

  I have so been in that situation! Sadly, I have also been in similar less positive situations as well. So frustrating to have to have a cover story- but I guess most of us do. Well done to you Jordan for being brave- and hats off to the yellow sweater wearer for being so kind. I'm slowly 'coming out'- but boy do I have to tred carefully in this little town!
• Lisa B.
  4/1/2011 8:34:38 PM

  Kudos to you! It's hard to be brave but even harder to just be ourselves and not be afraid of what others may think! Brava!!!
• j brooke
  4/1/2011 10:54:22 PM

  Ha ha Jordan, I never pull punches...WHen people ask me what I do I keep it simple. "Tell me j, what do you do?" "I write about fucking." That usually gets me kicked out, or a new girl friend. Your the best j
• Trish DeVene
  4/2/2011 8:27:08 AM

  Thank you for sharing this. Recently, after receiving negative feedback, I was opting to give up writing erotica, feeling I just didn't have the courage to tell people and didn't handle the sneers very well. But the next thing I knew, I was writing it again. Then I thought to justify it by the fact that it's a more lucrative genre than others. But the reality is, I enjoy it. It's quite a challenge to write, and ... sex is fun. Besides, when I'm not writing openly about sex, I tend to be writing about it with metaphors ... so there you go. It helps to participate in communities with other writers. They get me through, and you at Oysters and Chocolate have been wonderful.
• j brooke
  4/4/2011 9:27:02 AM

  A comment to Trish. Never, ever, ever succumb to the hyprocisy of Americas degenerate and puritanical visions of sex. I turned to Erotica because it is honest, geniune and above all fun. Remember, those that deny it, like a host of Americas politicians and preachers, (The list is to long to print) are the ones sneaking around in rest room stall at airports, trying to get blow jobs. Also remember, the more criticsm and scorn you get from the so called religious zealots, the ones that burn books, means a simple thing, and that you are right on track in ripping down the wall of lies that those that choose to deny sexuality use to war against their own denied sexual needs and always take a slap from a bigot as a compliment, I know I do. One last thing, the gals a O&C do and always have been brave enough, courageous enough and joyous enough to print our work, and they are nothing less then the most first rate out fit out there, and we writers are blessed to have them. You just keep writing kid, and do as I do, just to repate myself. WHen asked what you do, smile and just say, proudly. "I write about fucking." Best j brooke
• Brian
  4/5/2011 4:50:51 PM

  Jordan, you are so right. While there are a few social situations where I still won't bring it up - PTA meetings, etc, where it's just not appropriate - I've learned not to hesitate to say I write erotica. And J Brooke has it absolutely correct. The bigots and religious nuts are full of shit and misinterpret the meaning of life, which to my mind is love and sex and friendship and giving and taking pleasure with people we care about. The religions that preach against sex and pleasure and teach us to deny the natural instincts of our bodies (that's all of the monothestic religions) are the sources of most of the repression, hatred, and bigotry in the world. (Subscribe to the Freedom from Religion Foundation and get their monthly newsletter of Black Collar Crime, listing the hundreds [really] of clergy busted during that month for child molesting, embezzlement, and other crimes. These are not the people to go to for advice or comfort). Instead, open a dirty book and experience pure and simple pleasure. Even if you don't have a partner, you can still have sexual fiction without friction. Be proud of what we do. I am. Cheers to Jordan and Samantha for fighting the good fight.
• J.Kaval
  4/6/2011 8:48:56 AM

  I read the letter, enjoyed, and copied it with sketches of J and S not knowing who's J and who's S, not knowing who wore what The black chador of conservatism covwerth mutitude of mangroves.
• Emerald
  4/8/2011 12:00:47 PM

  A lovely story, Jordan, and thanks for sharing it! Like Jeremy and Kay, I have experienced similar responses to my forthright answer of such questions (including when I've responded that I've done various forms of sex work as well). Yay for you—I'm so glad you had that experience—and all who appreciate and respect sexuality, supporting the momentum for everyone to authentically do so!

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