Free Sex Advice
"Bye Bi Love" sex advice from Dr. Dick
Name: Dan
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Location: Alberta
I am a bisexual that is happily married with children. My wife and I
have a great sex life. Every few months I get an urge to have sex with
other men. I have acted out on this several times and always practice
safe sex. She has caught me surfing gay/bi porn a few times and I think
she knows that I have bisexual thoughts. She is interested in anal play
with me and has used a dildo on me a few times. Should I come clean with
her and risk divorce, which I don’t want, or continue on the way I am
going?
I am of the mind that being on the up and up with one’s primary
partner is a real good thing, regardless the issue. Practicing a
deception, like you’re doing Dan, will take a toll on the quality of
life you share. It sounds to me like you’re trying to have your cake
and eat it too, or to make a pun…your Kate and Eddie too. Can’t rightly
say I think too highly of this.
Most of the bisexual men I know wouldn’t approve of your arrangement
either. Because most of the bisexual men I know are not living dual
lives. Most are “out of the closet” bisexuals. They’re happier and
healthier then their closeted counterparts. They also are less likely
to seek anonymous connections with other partners just to relieve their
horniness, as you apparently do. In fact when a good friend of mine, a
bisexual himself, read your message he was totally put off. He said
you’re the kind of bisexual that gives bisexuals a bad name. OUCH!
I may not go that far, but skulking around looking for cock, like you
do, while keeping the little woman at home in the dark is a huge
problem for me. This sort of behavior also militates against you
forming any deeper connection with a guy than a quick furtive tryst
might allow. How can years of this sort of thing be satisfying?
Also by siphoning off all your sexual energy like this you blunt the
need to channel some of that energy into finding a creative solution to
your sexual needs and desires with your wife. You say you have a good
sex life together. She sounds pretty understanding and open minded.
Most wives would freak for sure if they found their man chokin’ the
chicken to gay porn. Are you sure she’d fall apart if she knew you are
bi? I’ll bet not as much as she would freak if she comes to learn of
your other life from someone other than you. Right? You’re skating on
some mighty thin ice, my friend. Besides, most wives have this sixth
sense when it comes to this kinda thing. She may already know more
about you than you give her credit for. Maybe she’s just waiting to see
how long it takes you to let her in on your little secret.
And about the anal sex thing. I suggest you incorporate more of that
into your love making with your wife? Hell, get her a nice strap as a
gift for being so understanding. You can find a nice selection HERE! I’d also suggest that you introduce your wife to your interest to “bi” porn. Check out some of the Recommended Titles HERE!
Who knows where this could lead? It could open a whole new world to
you both. It’s not inconceivable that one day you could find yourselves
in a three way or some group play. Stranger things have happened don’t
cha know.
So Dan, why not give the old honest, straightforward approach a try
for a change. Jettison the duplicity. It’s only gonna wind up biting
you in the ass one fine day…and not in a good way.
Good luck!
Dr. Dick
Originally published March 2011