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Help I don't want to blow him!

By: Jordan LaRousse

Tags: 2010 Ask Jordan Blowjob Sex Advice

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Free sex advice...

"Help I don't want to blow him!" sex advice by Jordan LaRousse


You're My No 1 by the Mofo, available at ObsessionArt.com

Hi Jordan,

I'm having a bit of a dilemma. I currently am 19 about to turn 20 and I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. He turns me on, eats me out -- does everything perfect! But I don't have any desire or attraction to give him a blowjob. My exboyfriend and I would only have oral, it was that good. I loved giving him head anywhere, any time, during Thanksgiving dinner while my family was outside, I would sneak him in just to suck his dick, I would wake him up with a nice blowjob. It's not that I'm not attracted to my current boyfriend, I am very much and I also love him more then I have ever loved. So what is my problem? Why can't I just turn myself on to give him head?? I feel bad because he's giving to me but I'm not to him. He always has his hopes up:(
Xxo
MG



Dear MG,

I can relate to this because the exact issue has happened to me. I was with one man and I just couldn’t keep my mouth off his cock -- I just adored it that much. But then, boom, I got into a new relationship with another guy and giving him a blowjob just didn’t do anything for me!

Part of the problem was, I kept comparing the two. I adored the first man’s penis, and the second man well…his was just fine, but it just didn’t inspire me to fall in love with giving blowjobs.

So the first step is to drop the comparisons. Easier said than done, but it won’t help the situation if every time you unwrap your guy’s banana you’re thinking about the long-lost lollipop you once loved.

The second step is to put your hesitation aside and just get busy. Don't torture him by making him wait any longer. And who knows? Maybe once you unzip him and treat him with a wonderful bj, you'll find that pleasing him turns you on more than you expected it would. After all, you already know that you're perfectly capable of enjoying giving head.

And third, if it’s not instant attraction between your tongue and your guy’s tidbits, it’s time to add some outside help. At the tender young age of 20, chances are you haven’t experimented a great deal yet, so hopefully I can give you a few new ideas (ones that worked for me):

  1. The more turned on you are while giving head, the more into it you’ll be. So it’s a good idea to give yourself a little stimulation while you go down on him. Try 69 (both of you please each other orally at the same time) or have your guy use a dildo, a vibrator, or just his fingers on you while you go down on him.
  2. Does the problem come from the way he tastes? Try sucking on a mint, or adding some whipped cream or edible lube to the oral routine.
  3. Make sure he’s fresh and squeaky clean so that you won’t be distracted by any icky odors. If you’re not drawn to the natural scent of his sweat and pheromones (as much as you likely were with your ex) you’ll definitely want to make sure he smells like soap and Old Spice instead of salt and old sweat.
  4. Think of ways your guy could mentally stimulate you while you give him head. Do you like it when he talks dirty or pulls your hair? Do you get off on giving head in dangerous places, like your grandma’s bathroom? Let him know how you like it and then try adding these naughty extra elements to the oral play and see what happens.


Good luck!

Jordan

Ladies want more advice on how to handle your man? Read Jordan & Samantha's book Mastering Your Man From Head to Head

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Comments

  • Paul Joannides, Psy.D.
    5/13/2011 1:19:08 PM

    Interesting question and interesting answer! Just wondering, in your case, what was it that made one penis more blow-worthy? Was it the shape? Size? Veinage (sorry, don't think there's such a word, but some penises have serious veins up and down the foreskin, while others are smooth)? Length of foreskin? The guy's natural odor? Cleanliness? On the other hand, it could be a combination of many things, without any one or two or three standing out. Best, Paul Joannides, Psy.D. author: Guide To Getting It On website: http://www.GuideToGettingItOn.com Psychology Today Blog: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/you-it

  • Jordan LaRousse
    5/13/2011 1:38:21 PM

    Hi Paul, Good point! It's great to see you on our site. We use your amazing book Guide To Getting it On as a reference in all of our non-fiction books (Mastering Your Man from Head to Head, Penis Genius, and Clit-ology). Keep up the good work! In my experience it was definitely the way one guy tasted/smelled and the size of his penis vs. the other that were the issues. xo Jordan LaRousse

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