Name: Gilbert
Gender: male
Age: 53
Location: Ohio
I discovered plushie sex long before I knew there were other people in
the world who love their stuffed animals as much as I do. At first, I
just cuddled and slept with my special plushie, but then I couldn’t help
but show my feelings. I wanted to consummate my love for my plushy.
The first time I did this I didn’t do anything to my plushie directly. I
simply embraced it while I pleasured myself to orgasm. Now my favorite
method of expressing my love is to press myself tenderly into my lovers’
plush fur. It’s a truly exquisite sensation!
Lonely are we, Gilbert? YIKES! Say, is your plushie a girl plushie
or a boy plushie? Are you 
sure your plushie, regardless of
its gender, likes having you be so…how shall I say this…intimate? And
what about the clean up? You say you press yourself tenderly into the
plush fur. Good god; it can’t be all that much fun for your plushie
tryin to get all your goopy spooge out of its polyester fur, now can it?
And your message isn’t so much of a question as it is a statement,
huh Gilbert? Can I assume then that you just wanted to tell the world
about gettin your freak on with your beloved plushie? DONE!
For those in my audience who are unable to fathom plushy sex, here is
the 411 on this fetish. Some folks, like old Gilbert here, get started
down this path by innocently stroking the stuffed animal over their
naughty bits. This, I am told, can be the beginning of an intense
connection with his/her plushie. Other enthusiasts aren’t satisfied
till there is penetration. 
This is accomplished by modifying
the creature at hand by creating what plushies call a
’strategically-placed hole’ (SPH) on a said plushie. I suppose depending
on the gender of the plushie; the ’strategically-placed hole’ is either
a plushie pussy or a plushie asshole, but I digress.
Some fetishists are on the receiving end of plushie sex. That is
they create a ’strategically-placed appendage’ (SPA) on their
long-suffering plushie partner and make the little creature fuck them
silly(er). SPA, indeed! I mean, god forbid that we call it what it
actually is — a freakin’ stuffed animal with a strap-on.
Beyond the human on stuffed animal sex the plushie world also offers
plushie on plushie sex too. Of course these are really humans dressed
up as plush animals…I mean from head to toe…REALLY! These enthusiasts
are generally referred to as furries. Isn’t that adorable?
There are furry sex parties, the like of which I will leave to your
fevered imagination, where 
there’s no end to plushie
perversion. I am told that it’s imperative that participants at these
parties stay in character. How do you tell the gender of the furry, you
might ask? Girl furries often have a bow in their fur. Boy furries,
not so often. Ok, I made that part up.
Anyway, the furry outfits are equipped with Velcro held flaps in
front and in back. These ’strategically-placed flaps’ (SPF) give
furries access to a fellow furry’s naughty parts. Full-on humping is
proceeded by lots of sniffing and nuzzling…you know, exactly like
ordinary animals do…only completely different. This is called yiffing.
Honestly! Look it up.
I’ve had only two close-up encounters with real live furries. One
was a client of mine. Another I met in an online chat room. The chat
room connection was so delighted to discover that I was a sexologist
that he could hardly contain himself as he revealed to me every gory
detail of his furry sex life.
The guy who was my client revealed his furry persuasion in one of his
early visits to my office. You see he was having this deep sexual
conflict, and as it turned out, it wasn’t that he was dressing up as a
big brown bear to get his rocks off.
Here’s how my client related the story. “So here’s the deal,” the
guy says. “I’ve been completely straight all my life. A couple of
years ago when I discovered I was a furry I went to a few furry sex
parties. At one of the parties another male furry began sniffing me and
making sexual advances. I would have decked him if I hadn’t been in my
bear suit. But because I was being my furry-self his advances were
like this complete new turn on. To make a long story short, I got it up
the ass but good that night for the very first time.”
You see my client was suddenly conflicted not because he was a furry,
don’t ‘cha know. He was conflicted by the discovery that, despite being
an exclusively straight macho dude out of costume, he was a freakin’
fag furry in costume. And that, my dear audience, is one of the most
bizarre things the good doctor has ever heard.
Good luck ya’ll!
Dr. Dick
Originally published May 2010