Dr. Dick's Sex Advice
Do Your Kegels!
Name: Nola
Gender: female
Age: 42
Location: Springfield
My husband and I only have masturbation sex because he say’s he can’t
feel me anymore when we make love. He says he still loves me, but he
says I’m very loose down there. And I know why too. We have three
wonderful boys — 12, 9 and 6. All were big babies and all three were
vaginal births. And I don’t think I ever rebounded afterwards and now
that I’m older, well things are not like they used to be. Is this the
end of sex for us?
A very common complaint, Nola; I write and talk about lax pelvic
musculature a lot on this site and in my private practice. Sure there
is hope for regaining muscle tone, and it’s not particularly difficult
to achieve.
Let’s start with a bit of an anatomy lesson. You have several
pelvis floor muscles the one we’re most concerned with is called the
pubococcygeus, or the PC muscle. It supports and holds in place the
internal sex organs for both women and men. —Pay attention men, the following exercises can whip your PC muscles in shape too.—
It’s attached to the front of the pubic bone and goes all the way
around to your butt hole. When one’s PC muscle is taut and toned, a
contraction can be felt all over the pelvic area — cock, cunt, clit and
ass hole. So you see how important this muscle is to performance as
well as pleasure for both women and men, right?
Still don’t know which muscle I’m talking about? Ok, try this —
while taking a pee, abruptly stop and start the flow of urine. Can you
do it? Lots of women and some men can’t. As you suggest, birthin’
babies is pretty traumatic to your pelvic musculature. These muscles
lose tone with each successive delivery (not to mention the impact the
aging process has on our muscles). If you can’t abruptly stop the flow
of pee, then you’re gonna have to find the PC muscle another way. Try
this, stick a couple fingers inside your pussy and squeeze. You may
have to insert more than two fingers to find what you are looking for.
But when you feel pressure around your fingers, you’ve hit the mark.
Consider this, if you are using more than two fingers to find your
PC muscle, you can understand why your hubby ain’t gettin the friction
he needs to get off through fucking, right?
Ok, so let’s work on some exercises that will tighten things up down
there. These exercises are commonly called Kegel Exercises. You need
to spend 30 minutes a day at this (twice a day would even be better).
And I want you to commit to this regiment for two weeks. If you can’t
commit this kind of time; then yes, you can say good by to fucking your
husband ever again. If your sex life is important to you, you WILL find
the time to do your kegels.
While lying on your back, or reclining propped up with some pillows,
start by relaxing everything except your vaginal muscles. This will
take some doing, so be patient. Remember, you have 30 minutes to
fill. Insert your fingers in your pussy, and clench your PC muscle.
You’ll want to LIFT UP while you do this, not bear down. If you’re
tightening your abs, squeezing your legs together, clenching your butt,
or holding your breath then you’re not exercising the right muscle.
I want you to work on both muscle strength and tone. With fingers
inserted, start with five strong prolonged squeezes (5 seconds
apiece). Squeeze, hold — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — then relax. Then do a series
of 10 rapid contractions in a row. Doing three sets of these two types
of Kegels during your 30 minutes a day is your goal. If you’re
tightening your abs to finger your pussy, consider inserting a dildo
instead.
Let’s go over that one more time. Start with five strong prolonged
squeezes (5 seconds apiece). Squeeze, hold — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — then
relax. Then do a series of 10 rapid contractions in a row.
When you’ve accomplished this you’re ready to increase the set to
eight or ten prolonged squeezes and 20 rapid contractions in a set.
The advanced Kegeler is able to vary the type and duration of her PC
squeezing; slow prolonged clenches to quick flutters. And, darling,
this doesn’t have to be drudgery. Add some up-tempo dance music and
tighten and release your PC muscle to the rhythm. You will naturally
vary the exercises and have way more fun too.
Hey, want to kick things up a notch? Combine you PC Exercises with jilling off! 
That’s
right, darlin, throw yourself a screamin meme of an orgasm as you’re
exercising. This is where a nice vibrating dildo will come in handy.
You may find that you’re more likely to attend to your exercise regime
if there’s pleasure involved.
Throw in some patterned breathing and pelvic rocking with your
exercises. Rock your pelvis up, exhale and squeeze the PC tight.
Squeeze, hold — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — then inhale, drop your hips back down
and relax the muscle. Once you get the hang of this, reverse the
exercise. Inhale while rocking forward and exhale while dropping back.
One final suggestion, check out the Natural Contours Energie Kegel Exerciser. You can read all about this marvelous doohickey by going to the Product Review Page and look for Review #16
If you follow my instructions for this two-week exercise course, you
will notice a marked improvement to your pelvic muscle tone. Won’t the
hubby be surprised when you invite him for a fuck and he finds the taut
and toned pussy of a woman half your age.
Good Luck!
Dr. Dick
Originally published September 2009