Dear Dr. Dick,
My boyfriend and I are 20. We’ve been together for almost two years and we’re in love. But we have a problem. I’m pro-choice and he isn’t. He says he won’t have sex with me unless I agree to have the kid if I get pregnant. I told him there’s no way I can agree to that. It’s my choice because it’s my body. But then he says it’s his choice to stop having sex with me because he disagrees with my views. Where do I go from here? I’m not ready to start a family; we’re not even married.
- Shelly, Raleigh, NC, 20
Ya know, Shelly, if men got pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.
Where do you go from here? Simply put? Hit the road; or better yet, tell him to. This dude who you say you love and loves you back is actually trying to control you with his dick. That’s never a good thing. It would also set a dangerous precedent for the rest of your relationship. Because if he gets his way on this one; mark my words, he’ll try the same dickhead ploy over and over again. I realize you don’t have much of a frame of reference about these things, being as young as you are. But healthy adult relationships don’t come with sexual ultimatums. EVER.
There is of course a way to have your cake and eat it too. You can enjoy a full and rich sex life and avoid unplanned pregnancies all at the same time. Let me introduce you kids to a little concept we call contraception.
WTF, you’re both 20 years old, you should have a handle on elementary notion already. Where have you been all your life? Both of you should be well versed in several methods of contraception. And you both should practice at least one foolproof method. If you are too immature to put this together, I can assure you you’re way to immature to commence fucking. Get it?
Here’s the deal. I’m not a big fan of abortion either, especially when it’s used as the primary means of avoiding a pregnancy. And since there’s a very safe and easy way to avoid this unfortunate moral dilemma, you guys would be fools not to take advantage of it. But wait! What if the BF is opposed to contraception? It sure sounds to me like he might. Well then you really are shit out of luck. No fucking for you till you’re married. No, till you are absolutely ready to conceive, even if that’s well after you’re married. Because you know you’re gonna get knocked up the very first time you let him near your pussy.
Mutual masturbation works an alternative to full on fucking. But probably there’s some prohibition against that in his world too, huh? So you see why I said at the beginning that your best option is to hit the road, or tell him to.
Good luck ya’ll
Originally published January 2009