O&C Take Out

O&C Take Out - The Great Pornography Debate

Tags: Porn ,  Reader Input

Dearest Readers,

We recently published an article on our examiner page about porn that ended up drawing a firestorm of commentary. The issues we addressed had to do with a woman’s hurt feelings over discovering her boyfriend’s porn habits. Some people agreed with our assessment, and some were very upset by what we wrote!

This month, we’d like to open the topic up to our oh-so-classy and sophisticated readers. This month’s O&C Takeout topic is Porn – so let us know what you think!

• Do you watch porn? Is it in private, or with your partner (s)?
• What kind of porn do you watch?                                                                                                      
  
• Does your partner watch porn?
• Do you have a problem with your partner watching/viewing porn?
• Do you think that watching porn in private is akin to cheating?
• Do you feel that watching pornography objectifies women? Does this apply to all pornography, or just certain types?

Xoxo
Jordan & Samantha

Originally published January 2009

Comments

• Sophie
  1/13/2009 8:05:20 PM

  I do watch porn and I LOVE it! It's my dirty little secret, as a modern woman who is oh-so-respectable. I look up the nastiest stuff I can find online and I watch and masturbate when I'm alone (group sex, drunk sex, old/young). My husband has no idea, but I kind of wish he did. He would probably be upset that I watch it by myself, but I have no idea how to bring it up with him. No, watching pornography (at least the kind I watch) does not objectify women. They seem to be enjoying themselves as much as the men.
• Fran
  1/14/2009 5:09:58 PM

  Yes I watch porn, mostly in private. I masturbate frequently while reading erotica or watching lesbian and BDSM porn. My partner hasn’t watched porn in years (that I know of). Naturally I wouldn’t minds if he watched porn. I do not think that watching porn in private is akin to cheating, that’s like saying masturbating or reading erotica is cheating. Hot porn is just a part of some people’s sexual fantasies. I do not feel we are objectified in porn. The women taking part seem to be enjoying themselves, or they’re acting, in which case they’re smiling because of the money they’re making. Like everyone there certain perversions and porn that grosses me out, but that’s what the on/off button is for.
• BeachLover
  1/15/2009 7:31:37 PM

  Do you watch porn? Is it in private, or with your partner (s)? Yes, typically with my husband on weekends and at his request. Enjoying pornography together over a large monitor with glasses of wine in the privacy of our study with a fireplace often culminates in incredible, sustained mutual masturbation sessions. What kind of porn do you watch? It It’s become progressively bolder DVDs and streaming video. For months I enjoyed watching straight vanilla foreplay and intercourse but it became somewhat repetitive over time. When my husband introduced me to Euro-produced anal and double, even triple, penetration styled videos, I was shocked but mesmerized. Recently, we’ve sampled lactation and water sports. Does your partner watch porn? No doubt, yes. Do you have a problem with your partner watching/viewing porn? We’ve been married for years and I’m okay with it; especially, since my husband is willing to share his video preferences with me. I’m embarrassed to admit our lovemaking has grown more intense having enjoyed adult entertainment together. Do you think that watching porn in private is akin to cheating? No, it’s escapism within the context of a tested marriage. Do you feel that watching pornography objectifies women? Does this apply to all pornography, or just certain types? Some porn is exploitive and, yes, objectifies women; in particular, what is headlined as teen videos. I make my husband, under these circumstances, switch to more suitable, and mature adult viewing.
• Peter Rosier
  1/16/2009 3:40:33 AM

  Yes, I sometimes watch porn on the internet and, before that existed, I would now and again look at a 'top shelf' magazine or book. Years ago, my wife could be persuaded to watch/ read as well but not lately, sadly; she feels it is too gross. Lesbian, anal and BDSM would be my favourites. I don't think it is cheating. In fact, I believe it assists with my love life (and I'm sure the same is true for others) in that it provides a huge stimulus for the imagination when I am with my wife. I think many or most people (male and female) think of other people now and again when involved in sex with their partner. This is just the same. I think it can be quite empowering for the female models/ actresses to be paid well for having a good body and using it. I found being a life (ie nude) model for art classes was similarly empowering! If I am ever reincarnated as a sexy young woman (not very likely!) I'd certainly investigate sex films as a source of gainful employment.
• tinque
  1/22/2009 7:52:32 AM

  I have recently discovered porn and look at it on the internet alone and sometimes with my partner. I prefer couples, sometimes threesomes 2M, 1F, and occasionally a solo girl masturbating. My partner also looks at internet porn. I sometimes have a problem with my partner looking at it, for it brings up what can be overwhelming feelings of fear. Porn viewing is not cheating, but I wonder about fantasizing being with the person in the image. This feels like emotional cheating to some degree. I do not fantasize about others for this reason and simply because why would I? I already have a man in my life whom I love and who loves me deeply, someone with whom I have a deep spiritual connection and someone with whom I have an intense sexual connection. Our sex life is full, varied, fabulous and continues to get better even after many years together. I don't need or want the intrusion of a stranger, even if only in the imagination. Watching porn is an objectification of women and men too. The images are objects of arousal to stimulate the senses, pure and simple.They aren't real in that these are two dimensional images. I wouldn't want it any other way. I wouldn't want to imagine having a connection with every image I view. That would be far too confusing and likely impossible. That said, sometimes I really like porn, sometimes I don't, sometimes I'm ambivalent.

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