Dear Aunt Chelsea,
As I am still a virgin on the verge of the sexual frontier, I am becoming more and more aware of my body everyday. While researching the hymen, I found that mine does not look close to that of which is normal. I am nervous that I have a "fimbriated hymen" and that it will affect my first "encounter" and sex there after. What should I do?
- Rose
Dear Rose:
Good for you! You’ve begun getting to know your body. I think it’s great that you’re getting informed before you have to make any big sexual decisions; that’s very wise. I’d never encountered the term “fimbriated hymen” before, so I looked it up online.
There’s an article on hymens at www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo with some really helpful illustrations. It shows that fimbriated hymens, which have non-circular vaginal openings, are perfectly normal, one of many variations. They’re just a little more rare than some of the other shapes. (Rings and crescents are very common.) There’s no reason to suspect that you’ll have any problems with sexual intercourse. Very rarely, a girl is born with a hymen that has no opening, a condition which must be operated on before puberty so that she can menstruate normally. There are sometimes other tissue obstructions that make normal intercourse difficult. If you’ve been having normal periods, and especially if you’ve been using tampons, you should be fine.
It’s a good idea for every woman to see a gynecologist (or the family doctor for a gynecological exam) before becoming sexually active, and once a year afterward. Your gynecologist should reassure you that you don’t have a medical issue.
It’s unfortunate that our society makes women feel self-conscious about every part of our bodies, from our teeth to our hips to our genitals. Most of your sexual partners aren’t going to care about the shape of your hymen, Rose. They’re unlikely to even notice. As a matter of fact, my sexual partner informs me that my hymen looks like it was fimbriated.
(The vaginal opening does get bigger after intercourse– and even after masturbation– but can still be seen, especially in a woman who’s never had a baby.) And I never had any complaints.
Originally published July, 2008