Dear Jordan,
I'm a 31 year-old-woman who has never performed a blow-job before. I'm now in a long-term relationship and I really want to give my boyfriend a great BJ because I feel that he really, really deserves it. I don't want to go down on him and mess it up! Can you give me some tips on how to perform a great first-time blow-job?
Thanks!
BJ Virgin
Dear BJV,
My very first recommendation for you is to read my article Great Head. This article will give you all the technical details of how to perform a great blow job. Try to remember a few of these details before you get into the big BJ event.
Now the other MAJOR thing I'd suggest is for you to actually tell your boyfriend that this will be your first time ever giving head. Not only will this make any nervousness you display completely understandable and acceptable by him, but it will also make him feel VERY VERY VERY special!!! What an honor for him to pop your bj cherry!
Giving a blowjob really isn't rocket science. You can definitely have fun with it. Depending on your man, he may or may not cum via oral sex. Many guys I have been with had never cum via oral sex before I got my mouth on them (so to speak). So don't be offended if he doesn't quite make it over the top, especially the first time you try. However, with practice, following my expert techniques, and discovering what your BF really enjoys orally, you can definitely make him explode sooner or later. Keep the communication lines open while you're down there. Encourage him to let you know what feels good and what doesn't feel good. Don't take it personally if you do something he doesn't like, just switch it up to something he does! Some guys, for example, actually like a little bit of ball sucking whereas some absolutely hate it and it will make them go limp. You really can't know unless he's telling you. So before you go down say "Honey, since this is my first time, please let me know what I'm doing right, and what I should do differently."
The biggest thing to remember is ENJOY YOURSELF: giving blowjobs is fun! It's not a chore. It's a sexy, sensual, wonderful treat that you are sharing with your man.
Have fun!! And Good luck!
xoxo
Jordan LaRousse
Dear Jordan,
I just read the question on deep throating. I have no problem giving head or even deep throating - I actually enjoy it very much. My problem is, I have never been able to let the guy cum in my mouth. I think I have a fear about it and I don't know how to get over it. If you could help me that would be great because I love giving head and I want to be able to finish off the job.
Thank you,
Headaholic
Dear Headaholic,
Bravo! It's wonderful that you are an accomplished oral sex queen, deep throating and all!
Now, regarding the issue of swallowing. Remember one thing: you don't have to swallow! It's not imperative to the BJ experience. It's definitely an added benefit, but not something a tissue can't handle too! I don't want you to get so hung up on swallowing that you ruin the rest of the experience for yourself.
How do you feel about swallowing things like oysters? Large pills? Does your swallowing fear transfer to other objects? If yes, perhaps you can try practicing swallowing oysters at your favorite seafood restaurant. The bigger the better!
How do you feel about the flavor of cum? If you have a problem with the taste of cum in general you may try disguising it with a flavored oral-sex lotion.
Don't think about it too hard! If you obsess over the inevitable moment of swallowing his cum, your brain will take over and I guarantee you'll fall right back into your spitting habit. Let your body take over and put your brain out of the loop.
Do it fast! You don't have to savor his jizz. When he ejaculates just push his cock to the back of your throat and shoot his cum down like you would a shot of tequila!
Good luck!
Jordan
Originally published November 2007 - "Lust"