Dear Jordan,
I have this chick that is a little freak, and wants to do some role playing. More or less, she wants to be "disciplined." How do I approach and execute this like a bad mother fucker? Now, I know you have some good stuff on this, so no general guidance fluff like be confident and listen to what she wants. I want some nasty details that only Jordan knows :-)
Bad Mother Fucker
Dear BMF,
First let me say that you have hit the sexual jackpot by landing yourself a little freak who likes role playing! Well done sir.
Here are a few fun ideas to get you started on the right foot as a genuine article bad mother fucker:
1. Give her some good old fashioned spankings, they work (and feel) best when you keep your hand cupped, rather than flat. Throw her over your lap, pull down her pants or pull up her skirt, and paddle her for whatever minor grievance you can come up with. The great thing is, with a girl like this any reason is a good reason to give her a spanking:
- She was a couple minutes late for your date! "WHAT!? Get over hear little girl, bend over daddy's lap..."
- She wore panties when you told her not to.
- She gave you a funny look.
- Improvise here! Anything can be viewed as a grievance if looked at the right way.
2. When she becomes accustomed to being spanked with your hand you might consider buying/using some other implements of painful pleasure. A regular wood spoon works, or you might invest in a paddle or whip. Make her pick it out!
3. Call her while she's at work and give her a list of things you want done before she comes to your place tonight. Including:
- To touch herself while she's talking to you at her desk and tell you how wet she is (assuming she's in a situation where she wont get fired).
- To wear a short skirt with no panties.
- To wear her hair in pigtails (or whatever you like best).
- To buy some Astroglide from Walgreen's on her way over.
4. Why did you make her buy Astroglide? Because a lot of times kinky, freaky girls love anal sex. It can feel like punishment to her (which is a good thing). As a reader of my column you know that you need to lube it up to do it right. If she's not into anal sex just yet, a little finger play during a spanking session is hot hot hot!
5. They don't call it Bondage & Discipline for nothing. I've given you a few tips on discipline, but she's probably craving a bit of bondage as well. Start playfully with silk ropes, or furry cuffs and tie your kinky bad girl up. Don't forget the blindfold! Work her up until she's about to cum (via oral or toy or finger play). Tell her she's not allowed to cum just yet and then stop touching her. Tell her not to move an inch and step away from her. Take a moment to admire her sexy body all tied up just for you. Let her know you are in the room by walking around and opening drawers, she's going to wonder what you're up to. Then slip out the door for a few minutes and grab yourself a beer and relax. After about 15 minutes go back into the room and start fucking her silly (with a toy or your cock). As she gets excited tell her she has to beg for your permission to cum. And if she orgasms without asking? Well it's time for a spanking! Bad girl!
6. Don't forget to use the phrase "bad girl" and "good girl" (or your own variation). When she's done something pleasing tell her what a good girl she is. When she's done something displeasing call her a bad girl and have her bend over your lap.
7. Safe word! Before you get too far into the BDSM game, you and your bad girl should come up with a totally out of context safe word. It should be a word that she wouldn't ever normally use during sex play like "shamrock" or "airplane". This way she's free to say "no no no" all she wants. This way you know that "no, stop" means "yes you're doing a great job" because "shamrock" means "no stop!". Get it? Hope so. This prevents the sex play from getting out of hand and dangerous and allows you to snap back into your normal personality if she's really getting scared.
Have fun with this! You have wandered into an amazing sexual relationship with endless opportunities for creativity and fun.
Good luck!
xoxo
Jordan
Originally published October 2007 - "Kink"