Free Sex Advice
"His Dick is TOO Big!" sex advice from Jordan LaRousse
Dear Jordan,
I'm a very petite woman at 5'2" and 105 pounds. I recently started dating a wonderful guy. Last night we experienced our first intimate encounter and I was very surprised at the size of his dick! We fooled around a bit and when we tried to have sex, it just wouldn't physically fit! I was plenty excited and willing, he was just too wide. We tried and tried and failed miserably. How embarrassing! I thought he'd never call me after that, but thankfully he did and we're going out again next week. We really like each other and would like to find our way around this physical incompatibility issue. Any suggestions on what I can do to loosen up?
Thanks!
Tight Spot
Dear T.S.,
My first response was a bit incredulous, much like one of our reader's who said "for gawd's sake, babies come out of the same hole and I'm sure he doesn't have a 20" and 7 pound cock!" Although I wouldn't have put it quite that way...my thoughts exactly! After thinking about it a bit, my advice pretty much was summed up with, go slow and use lots of lube! I realized that the fact that, at 5'8" tall and curvy, I am naturally built for sex (and baby making) might have something to do with my inability to answer this question with much insight. So dear T.S., I polled our incredibly savvy readers to find out if they could give you a bit more useful advice. I got more comments than I could possibly publish here, but I tried to select a variety of different ideas.
So read on! I hope you find something that helps you to enjoy a fulfilling and exciting sex-life with your new man!
Have fun with him you lucky girl,
Jordan
"I have had experience with this with my husband being very well endowed. What I found that worked best was easing my body into 'receiving' someone bigger. A lot of lube, fingering, and gradually increasing the size of my vibrators helped loads. Once a certain size vibrator felt good, we'd increase the width a tad, and so on and so forth. It took a while (and I do mean a while, several months) but after the first two or three times of his gaining access I was able to better enjoy his size.
In the meantime, they should try a lot of oral sex, learn how to pleasure each other without consistent penetration so that they can both get off and learn what the other enjoys. Being able to receive him a bit in the mouth is something men often enjoy especially since the most sensitive part is at the top.
My advice is for the couple to be patient and if the man is willing to help ease her into it, things will work out fine."
"While I have a definite predilection for the man of exceptionally wide girth and I've been known to open wide for a few long ones, I feel for the woman who falls for a man who's too big for her.
Here's my advice: If he's really good at foreplay and he can get you really hot and juicy, that might solve half your problem. A little lube should get you the rest of the way there.
I've had a few petite sister-friends who could take whangers that would make me flinch. Maybe it just takes a little more practice than I was willing to put in..."
"What I did when I fist met my partner of 16 years was this: He is a tall and HOT nicely muscled man, 6'4" and almost 9" that stays way too rigid at times. I am quite tiny not quite 5'6". He is well endowed, I mean really HUGE and Very thick. I couldn't take him the first few times at all and it kind of hurt his feelings. YES it was like getting plowed by the Green Man or some randy Greek Satyr. I didn't want to keep hurting him, or lose a good guy, so I told him he needed to help me out on this project (he was delighted to help)...So we first got a ridiculously small dildo for us to play with (US is the important word here), and after some nice erotic dinners, some good wine, and red rose petals scattered on the bed. He would use those little toys on me to his hearts content. I of course paid much attention to his big boy. SIGH. IT was very hot for us both. I used some cannabis infused almond oil as lube for the toys - THAT helped too. Over time we began to work our way up to much, much bigger toys. All the while, I gave him lovely full body massages and 'Body Electric' style penis play and LOTS of blowjobs in the hot tub. NOW I can take him easily and with pleasure, and just about anything else (hey, no fists though) on both ends. I also lost my gag reflex, and I am proud as hell for that too. I don't know why I am telling you all this except that it brought us closer; we are going on 16 years! And I really enjoy a huge fatty cock in me now
more than I ever thought I would."
"Here are some techniques that I learned about natural childbirth when I was pregnant:.
The technique is called "ironing" or perineal massage and basically what you do is insert a couple of fingers into the vagina and begin stretching, by pushing down toward the perineum and then rotating the fingers while stretching the whole circumference of the vagina, (except the top or where you find the g-spot... The underside of the pubic bone is there, and it pretty much stays where it is, you know?)
Anyway, her boyfriend can help with this, or she can do it herself. Another possibility would be to use different sized dildoes, gradually working up to one that is the same size as her boyfriend, or a little bigger. If she's doing her Kegels, her vagina, now with a larger capacity, will still stay toned and shrink back to its normal size.
As for the length issue, I believe that there is a limit to how much stretching is possible. I know that there are things in the vagina called 'rugae' [a series of ridges produced by folding the wall of an organ] so it has some natural stretching ability.
She may be able to stretch this some, too, but I think the capability is more limited. If he's ridiculously long, stretching her to fit may be impossible, as there are organs above the vagina, and pounding them sometimes hurts. It really depends on how sensitive her other organs are to being moved around. Obviously, if it hurts severely, then he'll need to go easy on her, and one of them may need to use a hand (held at the vaginal entrance) to 'extend' her vagina more.
I can guarantee that the stretching and ironing to make the vagina wider is most assuredly possible, after all, women have been stretching to ten centimeters for thousands of years!"
"Well, first of all, lube and tons of foreplay are your best friends. Position matters, too. 'Doggy style' can help a lot. (Or try her on top, or standing rear entry) She may be able to accommodate a bit more after an orgasm (or 2). And if all else fails, buy some toys ranging in size from her comfort level to close to his size and slowly work towards that. Good luck!"
"I'm petite, myself, and can barely take an average sized cock. (Mmm, so fun to take though) I was recently with a well-endowed man. As long as my mind was on it, he would not fit. He went down on me till I came, held me still enough while I thrashed around out of my mind, and slipped into me. Well, slipped isn't the right word... but before I knew it, there he was."
"This is too funny! When I was a virgin (lo, those many years ago), my first boyfriend was quite well endowed. We tried and tried, and he just couldn't manage to penetrate me. I thought the poor guy was going to die of frustration, and I felt like a freak because I couldn't do what came so easily (or so I believed) to every other woman. Finally, I went to my doctor, embarrassed beyond belief to have to explain the nature of my problem. To my relief, she was very understanding. What she did was to use the speculum (that instrument that women love so much) to gently stretch the walls of my cervix and vagina. The next time, with a lot of K-Y, lo and behold, my virginity was a thing of the past, and although it hurt like hell that first time, it got better and better until eventually I had forgotten all about how difficult it had been in the first place.
My advice would be lots of lubrication, lots of foreplay, and no pressure. If the guy really cares about her, he'll go slow. Maybe they could indulge in a fantasy game of 'deflowering the virgin maiden' and make it fun!"
"I am a pretty petite person (5'4", small boned) and have mainly been with larger men and never really had that kind of problem. Only if he was super engorged and I wasn't fully stimulated it was a little rough. I think if she relaxes and really gets into the mood, she might have fewer problems. It might be a medical condition that may cause her discomfort as well; she may want to investigate that. The vagina is a flexible thing... women can pass 6+ lb. baby and survive, so a large penis should not be a problem to enjoy, if you are in the right frame of mind."
"There are several positions that work well for this, of course considering lots of foreplay and other things besides penetration. One position is with the man laying on top of the woman, from behind with the woman's legs closed, she can regulate the depth and he feels the added length of her legs closing around his penis to engulf his entire length...another that I've used is the woman on top with my hand around the base of the penis, or the remaining part of the shaft that doesn't fit- this one is fun because you can squeeze a little tighter give him the added pleasure of a tighter fit- though it sounds like it's already about as tight as it can go. Hope that helps!"
"My ex husband was almost as large as a roll of cookie dough. God strike me down if I am exaggerating. I found these things helped:
1. Eros silicone lubricant, or the new one called Gun Oil. Good lube applied liberally will make things so much easier.
2. Get GOOD and turned on, your body knows and if it works like it's supposed to when your genitals are engorged with blood and heat your skin is more supple and elastic.
3. Have him slowly work on you with his fingers, good and lubed up. First one then when that is super comfortable use two fingers and so on until he has as much of his hand in there as his cock is big around.
4. Don't ever question the importance of Kegels. Strong muscles will stretch further and easier. They will also still grip even when stretched. Also, you won't notice any lasting effects from the stretching in your muscles the more toned they are. Only your skin really needs to stay stretched.
5. Have sex OFTEN, Your body will get used to him. But if you go a week or two your skin will go back to normal and you will have to start all over again."
"Lube, lube, and more lube. Also, relaxing and controlling your breath (pretend you're exhaling through your vagina). You can also 'work up to it' by masturbating with dildos that are increasingly larger in size. And go slow--easy does it! Have him enter slowly and stay still in one place while you breathe deeply and get used to it, then when that's comfortable, have him move in deeper. I know it sounds frustrating, but there are plenty of other parts to play with while you're easing into it!"
"1. Lube
2. More lube.
3. Did I mention the lube?
4. Take Tylenol about an hour before sex
5. Deep breaths
Has she spoken to her gynecologist? I heard there's a speculum-like device that's intended for the anus that some doctors prescribe to women with well-endowed partners. Before she does anything that might hurt her further, she should talk to her doctor."
"There's a whole section of the Kama Sutra dedicated to how to deal with differently sized sex organs, and it has some insightful and sensitive suggestions."
Need more advice on big dicks? Read Jordan & Samantha's book Mastering Your Man From Head to Head
Originally published April 2007 - "Dirty"