Dear Barnabus,
I'm 26, and have always dated women my age or younger. Lately, at the office, I've developed a rather flirtatious friendship with an older woman (she's 48), and I can't stop thinking about her. I'm going to ask her out. If she actually says yes, I know that we'll end up in bed together. I know you're somewhat experienced and have been with women of many ages. What should I expect with an older woman? How will she be different from a younger woman? And is there anything that an older woman might expect that I might not be aware of?
- Lusting after an Older Broad
Dear LOB,
The first thing to keep in mind is that if this woman does go out with you, she's probably looking at you as a boy toy, not as a serious relationship prospect. It sounds like you're lusting after this lady and not actually looking for a woman to marry and have children with, so being a boy toy probably won't be a problem for you. However, if you do go out, sleep together, and eventually develop something that becomes serious, you'll have a whole new set of things to think about that are much more emotional than sexual.
But back to the first date. A woman's a woman, no matter what her age. Treat her with respect.
You've probably heard the old adage - a woman doesn't hit her sexual peak until her forties. This is actually true for many women. Be prepared that she'll be much more comfortable with herself and her body than some of the younger women you've been with. While many women in their twenties are just growing out of their body-image issues, a woman in her forties has typically embraced all that she is physically.
This older woman probably won't have the "shackles" that many younger women have in regards to their sexuality. Typically, a woman who has inhibitions will lose them around 40. Furthermore, she has around 20 more years of experience in regards to knowing what she likes, and what her body and mind respond to. And these are all very enjoyable things for you, my friend.
Now as for that more unpleasant "rumor" that goes around regarding older women having large vaginas (you've heard them - "be prepared to bang around," "a bag in the bag"...): In my experience it simply isn't true. Women of all ages have different sized vaginas (it's genetics), which means that a woman who is 23 can have a "larger" vagina than a woman who's 48. Some will argue that a woman who's had a baby will have a larger vagina, or be "stretched out". Again, in my experience, it simply isn't true. A woman of any age (mother or not) who's doing her kegel exercises will have a very fit vagina - which will make for more pleasure for you both.
So Mr. Boy Toy, I hope I've been of some help here. I wish you luck in asking your coworker out - and if you're successful, you both are in for a very, very pleasurable experience.
- Barnabus
Originally published September 2006 - "Divine"